Why do white women seek relationships with incarerated black men?

 FAQ: Why do white women seek relationships with incarcerated black men?

 

Wiseman #1

Ultimately, only the white female truly knows why she's attracted to the incarcerated Blackman. It's impossible to make an accurate blanket statement or opinion which covers all white women and all black men, as well as the psychological, mental and sociological dynamics within their personal and private relationships. But, if there be a common thread, connecting situations like that, I believe that thread to be the mutual HUMANITY shared between the two.

Whether restrained, incarcerated or free, the Blackman is a human being. He feels, thinks, dreams and aspires. He desires, creates and expresses. He has the potential to protect and provide, to be faithful, to learn, to teach and to share life abundantly and harmoniously with a female. He is a possessor of force and power, of resilience and brilliance. The Blackman, like all men, is the masculine expression and manifestation of divinity clothed in human flesh.

Within this context, even if he's incarcerated, he is still powerful enough to effect change in a woman's life. Again, even through the obvious limitations of incarceration, a Black male prisoner, as a human being, has something innately, intellectually, spiritually, emotionally and sometimes even materially, to share with a woman.
WM #1

 

Wiseman#2

WHY DO WHITE WOMEN SEEK RELATIONSHIPS WITH INCARCERATED BLACK MEN?

For the longest time, I have not only thought about this question, but this specific question has been posed to me so many times. Today, I would like to express my opinion of what I think is happening between these two people as they explore a relationship that many considers taboo and down right wrong. But before I begin, I would just like to say, no one truly knows where the discovery of love will take place, so all we can really hope for is to be worthy enough to possess that love wherever it may find us.

Now that question alone is a reduction and marginalization to think that a white woman's affection for the black man somehow started when he came to prison, or is merely a prison thing, that can only exist within his confinement. Also, it is not just the white woman desiring the black man, he also desires her because it is the only way for her to gain entrance into his world regardless of his circumstance. This question is twofold, on one hand there's this white woman who was taught that the black man was a beast and to cohabit with him is to doom herself and her bloodline forever, and on the other hand, you have this incarcerated black man who's being denied humanity and love that he looks for it in every possible direction. So when you put these two things/people together, they fulfill and dispel all the stereotypes that has been lodged against them for what seems like forever. He shows her that she is worthy of love, respect and affection, and she shows him that he's worthy of her humanity, sacrifice, time and her heart.

So to me, it's not merely prison that draws some white women to desire relationships with black men while they are incarcerated, but one of humanity and a deep longing which plays the biggest role in white women's fascination with black men altogether. We live in a society where black men has always been treated unfairly by white people, especially white men and white women desire to change that by loving this man with the full force of her heart. I also think that white women has always secretly harbored feelings and desires for black men, not just because it was forbidden, but because they were compassionate for black men's suffering and it killed them internally that they were without the power to change it. I do not want to say that they are trying to make up for lost times, I just feel like they are no longer afraid of stepping past the boundaries that once hindered them yesterday. They had to conceal their compassion for fear of retribution yesterday, today they stand up proudly and celebrate their love for the black man.

So why prison? Because so many good black men are in prison, and to be willing to be there for the black man in the hardest time of his life is to them quintessential to humanity itself. Anyone can walk up and meet someone and say this and that, but not everyone can struggle through the proverbial ringer of prison and make it. But these women are doing just that against unbelievable scrutiny. They get ridiculed by their family, friends, black women, and prison officials and yet, they continue clinging to the belief that he is worth that and so much more. They are unafraid because societal norms towards interracial relationships also play a role in the excavation of those feelings and bringing them to the forefront so that real attention can be given to them.


The relationship between the incarcerated black man and white woman is no longer a hidden fantasy, but a realization that love can exist beyond differences and the prejudice barriers that hinders it's progress. Everyone deserves love, so why not the black man in prison that needs it the most? I guarantee you that he's not concerning himself with a person's color, but their humanity which allows for him to envision a life beyond prison because of the restoration of hope that she has brought back to his life. This person (the incarcerated man) would love and care for anyone that loved and cared for him because affection, compassion, and love is not readily available to this man and he desires these essentials greater than anything else. So instead of knocking the white woman for loving the incarcerated black man, let's appreciate her kindness, compassion and willingness to stand with him in the wake of his deepest suffering. She is truly worthy of that recognition and praise. WM #2

Wiseman #3

Let there be no misunderstanding, love in & of itself cannot be controlled! On the outset to answering this somewhat controversial question, this must be understood and constantly in the thoughts of all who engage in this perspective. Love cannot be controlled!

Therefore, it permeates throughout our cultures, our societies, our religious houses, yes ... and believe it or not, even in our prison system. Love finds its way across racial barriers simply because love is Human! As long as humans interact, that uncontrollable force, that natural tendency to connect, create and empower that awesome power of attraction called love, will permeate in the very conversations, letters, visits, etc.

To ask why white women, why blackmen, is almost like asking why are these two people capable of love at all? The reason is simple interaction. You check for who's checking for you, period!

White women are for the most part overtly or subtly reared to appease a man, (I said for the most part)! Black women are raised to not need a man and if you do get one make sure he treats you right etc., For the incarcerated Blackman, he is already very well versed in being doubted and under suspicion if you will. The cliché of 'When he gets out he's going to leave you' is ever present in most of the black women's minds, and in all fairness, white women as well. However, here lies the stark difference, white women will chance it because their identity is intertwined with a man.

This caters to the incarcerated Blackman's need in terms of love and connection. It is said that the Blackman has grown emotionally, intellectually and otherwise, then that white woman will receive all of that growth. It becomes air to an already lit fire!

Now the Black woman that understands herself in relation to a Blackman, no woman, black, white, red, yellow, tan or brown can have her man! If the black woman could see herself without suspicion, without expressed constant doubt. If she would, no matter what, receive real love from the incarcerated Blackman, then what you would see in most prison visiting rooms would be, Black men and Black women in love.

Because of the social and cultural impediments, we see the intersectionality of racial, and cultural differences in a more humane and positive way. And therefore, white women and black men submit to their humanness and that thing that can't be controlled takes root in the very essence of the relationship of love, once that happens who cares about color?
WM #3

Wiseman #4
The white woman has always been attracted to the Blackman since his arrival to this country. She desired him as he was shackled and chained on the plantations where he was held captive. Of course it would have been suicide if she exhibited any feelings for him publicly other than which he was brought to this country for, which was chattel slavery. So she had to repress any feelings she may have had. She had to feign her emotions with false contempt for the Blackman.

This is not to say that she didn't engage in any illicit acts with the Blackman when the slavemaster (her husband) wasn't present. This came with the threat of reporting rape if the Blackman didn't fulfill her advances or demands of sex. The Blackman had to risk his life with having sex with her if this was ever discovered. So her attraction for the Blackman isn't some new novelty of affection.The white woman has been threatened, disowned, assaulted, excommunicated from church, family, friends and community for taking up a relationship with a Blackman.

There's a very strong level of desire within the white woman for the Blackman. She doesn't understand his plight but she is compassionate towards whatever struggle and experiences he has been through. She have always been mesmerized by him in her imagination. Respecting of her desires, the pursuit of her interest in him during his incarceration allows her to have him without the restrictions and judgment of her from anyone that opposes any possibility of a union that they may consummate.

The Blackman offers a very unique and interesting quality and flavor that is attractive. He represents everything that is forbidden. So most white women as girls were taught that he is everything that she should avoid. The most ugliest picture is painted of him which sparks her interest. With her discovery of him she finds that his soul is fascinating, and how his level of strength represents force and power mentally and physically. She wants to see what's truly in him. She seek his essence and purity. And, she want to give everything of herself to make him happy and whole. She even imagine a life with him and how pretty and beautiful their children will look. She also feel that she'll find true happiness in him.
Signing Off WM #4