ARE INTERRACIAL CHILDREN AT A DISADVANTAGE WHEN RAISED BY SINGLE PARENTS
Wiseman #1
Interracial children are not at a disadvantage simply because they're being raised by a single white mother. Whether through adoption or as the result of a death or a divorce, if the single parent, male or female, white or black, remains loving, creative, unselfish and faithfully dedicated to the advancement of the family, I believe the children can prosper and thrive. Balance is key! The children should be raised to understand and embrace the totality of their BEING as both sides, both cultures contribute to their individual characteristics, their gifts and attributes. The true and complete knowledge of themselves may prove to be empowering, a source of dignity and pride, ultimately catapulting them into adulthood as independent confident, productive contributors to society.
The ultimate objective of parenting is to successfully raise children, to cultivate their minds to a degree that they can live independent of the parent. The constant intent is to raise them to be humane. We do that by pouring our hearts and minds into their hearts and minds. We share with them our principles and morals, our way of life, our cherished beliefs and traditions, our love and our vision. We give them all of us, allowing the weight and warmth of that love to validate them. To let them know they matter, that they are understood, appreciated and wanted.
I am aware that this is an extremely romanticized fanciful explanation of raising children. I am equally aware that through each stage of their development, as they age, they'll change, and each year presents new challenges, new discoveries, experiments and explanations. But despite tough times, troubles or tragedy, I believe in the resiliency of the human spirit, in the power of a determined mind and pure heart. I further believe in a mother's devotion and love, and a father's guidance. The birthright of every baby is love, and as they grow up they'll learn how to identify love and how love feels. Within that divine lesson they'll learn how to give and how to share love with others.
Pragmatically and practically speaking, to those single parents who provide a clean, safe and secure environment, wherein the children are clothed and nourished properly. Where they're rewarded and reproved when necessary, and their basic individual needs are addressed and their privacy respected. We Salute You and applaud your accomplishments.
WM #1
Wiseman #2
Dear Francine, thank you for your comments/questions relating to cancelled culture. I would like to first say as I read the post in full, I can tell that you are a great human being that understood early on in life that differences are okay and meant to be celebrated. I observed that based upon your relationship choices, you chose to love from a humane perspective as opposed to confining yourself to a societal box and limiting your choices to only white Australian men. That in itself is courageous and I commend you for your strength and the universal principles you carry within yourself to see/treat people as you desire to see/treat yourself. So on that note, be proud of who you are because from your post alone, I can tell that you are an amazing human being with a great deal of humanity within the fabric of your being.
First and most importantly, every one of us has been affected by Covid. Covid has reduced a great number of our social gatherings and prevented us from engaging on a personal/physical level, so you are not alone on that front. You said, "Since the lock downs are over, why haven't you been invited to certain functions?" I would ask you this question in return, "what were your community/friendship dynamics before Covid?" Did you have the kind of friends that thought and felt like you, or the kind of friends that judged and poked at your family dynamics every chance they got? If you had the former then I think you are over thinking things when it comes to the invites because Covid has been so debilitating that everyone has suffered and may not have reached the level of normalcy that they had before the outbreak so give them more time. If you had the latter then you are better off without them because they will always try to make you feel less than because of your desire to date outside of your race. You do not need those kind of people around you.
You also asked, "Are your family dynamics too much for your community?" No! Diversity in today's society is celebrated more than it is frowned upon. The world has shifted and changed when it comes to our feelings on dating outside of ones race, I do not think your community has out cast you, I just think you may need a little encouragement to move beyond these self doubts because Covid has placed a strain on so many of the things you have come to enjoy in your life. The trauma you've experienced because of that has you looking at your family/community structure through a microscope which causes you anxiety. But I would say, place those feelings to rest because you have done amazingly well and your community sees and appreciates all the beauty and diversity that you have brought to it.
As far as feeling like you are not being accepted in your children's culture, again, diversity in our current times are celebrated, but ignorant people will always persist. As long as you love and give your children all they need to grow into beautiful human beings, then you have done great by them. Choosing to adopt two boys that are Samoan decent truly shows the love that you have within you. You have given them a place to call home and for the record, family is more than lineage and blood, it is the uniqueness, beauty and love that humanity is woven in. For you to open up your heart and your home to those boys says a lot about your character as a humane person that is willing to go that extra mile for someone else.
Being a single parent raising Samoan boys doesn't negate your humanity, it increases it tenfold. I was raised by a single parent and I know first hand that a mother loves unconditionally regardless of the circumstances. You love them boys despite the fact that you didn't give them life, you have given them the greatest opportunity to be happy, heathy and strong, and that is the woman you should see in the mirror and be proud of. You have done great and your children will always love and appreciate you for that.
Thank you again for your comments/questions and I hope I was able to help you.
Dear Francine, thank you for your comments/questions relating to cancelled culture. I would like to first say as I read the post in full, I can tell that you are a great human being that understood early on in life that differences are okay and meant to be celebrated. I observed that based upon your relationship choices, you chose to love from a humane perspective as opposed to confining yourself to a societal box and limiting your choices to only white Australian men. That in itself is courageous and I commend you for your strength and the universal principles you carry within yourself to see/treat people as you desire to see/treat yourself. So on that note, be proud of who you are because from your post alone, I can tell that you are an amazing human being with a great deal of humanity within the fabric of your being.
First and most importantly, every one of us has been affected by Covid. Covid has reduced a great number of our social gatherings and prevented us from engaging on a personal/physical level, so you are not alone on that front. You said, "Since the lock downs are over, why haven't you been invited to certain functions?" I would ask you this question in return, "what were your community/friendship dynamics before Covid?" Did you have the kind of friends that thought and felt like you, or the kind of friends that judged and poked at your family dynamics every chance they got? If you had the former then I think you are over thinking things when it comes to the invites because Covid has been so debilitating that everyone has suffered and may not have reached the level of normalcy that they had before the outbreak so give them more time. If you had the latter then you are better off without them because they will always try to make you feel less than because of your desire to date outside of your race. You do not need those kind of people around you.
You also asked, "Are your family dynamics too much for your community?" No! Diversity in today's society is celebrated more than it is frowned upon. The world has shifted and changed when it comes to our feelings on dating outside of ones race, I do not think your community has out cast you, I just think you may need a little encouragement to move beyond these self doubts because Covid has placed a strain on so many of the things you have come to enjoy in your life. The trauma you've experienced because of that has you looking at your family/community structure through a microscope which causes you anxiety. But I would say, place those feelings to rest because you have done amazingly well and your community sees and appreciates all the beauty and diversity that you have brought to it.
As far as feeling like you are not being accepted in your children's culture, again, diversity in our current times are celebrated, but ignorant people will always persist. As long as you love and give your children all they need to grow into beautiful human beings, then you have done great by them. Choosing to adopt two boys that are Samoan decent truly shows the love that you have within you. You have given them a place to call home and for the record, family is more than lineage and blood, it is the uniqueness, beauty and love that humanity is woven in. For you to open up your heart and your home to those boys says a lot about your character as a humane person that is willing to go that extra mile for someone else.
Being a single parent raising Samoan boys doesn't negate your humanity, it increases it tenfold. I was raised by a single parent and I know first hand that a mother loves unconditionally regardless of the circumstances. You love them boys despite the fact that you didn't give them life, you have given them the greatest opportunity to be happy, heathy and strong, and that is the woman you should see in the mirror and be proud of. You have done great and your children will always love and appreciate you for that.
Thank you again for your comments/questions and I hope I was able to help you.
WM #2
Wiseman#3
This weeks commentary has a lot to unpack. As it involves not only general concerns, but those concerns are also specific. In an attempt to be universal as well as detail specifically, I caution the reader to have an open mind and mind your openness.
Mixed children (biracial) in this era of time have a unique experience (to say the least), but compared to yesteryear, they have a unique advantage to change the world. That statement may seem like a hyperbole, yet it is true. In the United States alone, it is estimated that by year such-n-such, the racial demographic will be so-n-so, so there you have it! The "world" IS changing by virtue of our biracial families mere existence.
The Caucasian parents of our biracial family has a unique advantage as well. These parents for all intents and purposes have crossed the racial barriers through adoption or dating another race, either way they are in some respects the "racial ambassadors." Their willingness to go outside of their "race" to the extent to create life for whatever the circumstances, "life" was produced by that union! The Caucasian parent should not be burdened with the impediment of the"racial" problem of black and white that plagues this world. For the Caucasian parent cannot "fix" this problem without the "other parent of whom the child belongs. Caucasians can't quote unquote raise a " black" child. The notion of raising a black child from this writers perspective is a remarkably difficult task, as any parent of any "race" has it hard raising any child, let alone a white mother raising a black son.
How do you define raising a black child in this context? We'd have to define "being black!" Now, if any parent wants safety, decency, good health and proper education, then "race" doesn't even enter the equation. However, any parent raising a black child must and is duty bound (especially) raising a black son, to prepare that child for a world bent and warped by white supremacy! Tell the truth of how white supremacy is a sickness in the head of the Caucasian that thinks they're supreme, and a disease in the mind of the black person who submits to such a wicked and unfounded notion! By prepare I mean, teach the history of the two so called races and highlight how the two parents have in the intent of the child overcame race in the simplest sense. In teaching that history, tell the truth!
Let us not worry about black culture, so much as we train biracial, mixed, black and white, civilized culture, one built on refinement and righteousness. Rooted in the knowing of the origin of the two peoples, moving towards a more perfect union. The truth of these two will allow us to "know" each other (races)! In that knowing we create a new culture, recognizing the existence of the uniqueness of both races.
To do this, hard truths must be told. It pains some of the forerunners of justice to have to teach on race, yet, we must put emphasis on how the world got the way it is where race is concerned. It starts with a spirituality and inferiority complex and the lie that black is somehow cursed, the hidden truth that black was the first on the planet, and the reality that black is beautiful. This does not put the white race down, this directly opposes white supremacy! And if you're raising a "black" child, and you're. "white" (or any other race for that matter) you must do this. Oppose white supremacy and teach the truth to your children, while showing them decent culture evolving in refinement.
WM #3
This weeks commentary has a lot to unpack. As it involves not only general concerns, but those concerns are also specific. In an attempt to be universal as well as detail specifically, I caution the reader to have an open mind and mind your openness.
Mixed children (biracial) in this era of time have a unique experience (to say the least), but compared to yesteryear, they have a unique advantage to change the world. That statement may seem like a hyperbole, yet it is true. In the United States alone, it is estimated that by year such-n-such, the racial demographic will be so-n-so, so there you have it! The "world" IS changing by virtue of our biracial families mere existence.
The Caucasian parents of our biracial family has a unique advantage as well. These parents for all intents and purposes have crossed the racial barriers through adoption or dating another race, either way they are in some respects the "racial ambassadors." Their willingness to go outside of their "race" to the extent to create life for whatever the circumstances, "life" was produced by that union! The Caucasian parent should not be burdened with the impediment of the"racial" problem of black and white that plagues this world. For the Caucasian parent cannot "fix" this problem without the "other parent of whom the child belongs. Caucasians can't quote unquote raise a " black" child. The notion of raising a black child from this writers perspective is a remarkably difficult task, as any parent of any "race" has it hard raising any child, let alone a white mother raising a black son.
How do you define raising a black child in this context? We'd have to define "being black!" Now, if any parent wants safety, decency, good health and proper education, then "race" doesn't even enter the equation. However, any parent raising a black child must and is duty bound (especially) raising a black son, to prepare that child for a world bent and warped by white supremacy! Tell the truth of how white supremacy is a sickness in the head of the Caucasian that thinks they're supreme, and a disease in the mind of the black person who submits to such a wicked and unfounded notion! By prepare I mean, teach the history of the two so called races and highlight how the two parents have in the intent of the child overcame race in the simplest sense. In teaching that history, tell the truth!
Let us not worry about black culture, so much as we train biracial, mixed, black and white, civilized culture, one built on refinement and righteousness. Rooted in the knowing of the origin of the two peoples, moving towards a more perfect union. The truth of these two will allow us to "know" each other (races)! In that knowing we create a new culture, recognizing the existence of the uniqueness of both races.
To do this, hard truths must be told. It pains some of the forerunners of justice to have to teach on race, yet, we must put emphasis on how the world got the way it is where race is concerned. It starts with a spirituality and inferiority complex and the lie that black is somehow cursed, the hidden truth that black was the first on the planet, and the reality that black is beautiful. This does not put the white race down, this directly opposes white supremacy! And if you're raising a "black" child, and you're. "white" (or any other race for that matter) you must do this. Oppose white supremacy and teach the truth to your children, while showing them decent culture evolving in refinement.
WM #3
Wiseman #4
Thank you for your response and question. Yes, I believe your children are at a disadvantage. Children of mixed nationality have a great struggle for balance. Their identity is often questioned, scrutinized or rejected by their peers and others. And even sometimes by members of their family. We live in a world that judge based on ethnic backgrounds, financial or social status. We are poisoned by our personal beliefs, standards and measures of what we define as the proper way to live and what we should be. So your biracial children have to deal with not being enough of this and that or being too much of this and that. I believe in just loving your children and having the support of those who embrace your beautiful family dynamic. And also get the support of others who share your family dynamic.
I think some of us just need to relate and welcome our differences and diversities. We are all different and made up in our own beautiful skin. We are created/made in God's image, it is by his will and permission that we are all different.
As for you being cancelled, I took a couple of days to consider everything you said. I had mixed feelings and controversy about this. On one thought, I considered the remnants of everyone being locked down, then I thought about how cancel culture has silenced people. I think you must find spaces to fill within your family dynamic. Cancel culture obliterates and disassociate the core of who you are, what you represent, love, identify with and believe in. If your lifestyle doesn't match up with someone's belief system, thought process, social status or what have you, people will cancel you out of their life.
But we also have to be careful of unconsciously cancelling ourselves from our groups or situations that appears to cancel us. We mustn't postulate, let's be right and exact when we are identifying ourselves as being cancelled. With that being said, it should be a process of reasoning to evaluate if you have been cancelled or if you have shield yourself from your culture or social circle. Have you thought of reaching out to some of your friends to have a conversation? We have to stop allowing people to cancel us. "Let's Cancel", cancel culture along with their prejudices, and non acceptance of differences and diversities.
Signing Off, WM #4
Thank you for your response and question. Yes, I believe your children are at a disadvantage. Children of mixed nationality have a great struggle for balance. Their identity is often questioned, scrutinized or rejected by their peers and others. And even sometimes by members of their family. We live in a world that judge based on ethnic backgrounds, financial or social status. We are poisoned by our personal beliefs, standards and measures of what we define as the proper way to live and what we should be. So your biracial children have to deal with not being enough of this and that or being too much of this and that. I believe in just loving your children and having the support of those who embrace your beautiful family dynamic. And also get the support of others who share your family dynamic.
I think some of us just need to relate and welcome our differences and diversities. We are all different and made up in our own beautiful skin. We are created/made in God's image, it is by his will and permission that we are all different.
As for you being cancelled, I took a couple of days to consider everything you said. I had mixed feelings and controversy about this. On one thought, I considered the remnants of everyone being locked down, then I thought about how cancel culture has silenced people. I think you must find spaces to fill within your family dynamic. Cancel culture obliterates and disassociate the core of who you are, what you represent, love, identify with and believe in. If your lifestyle doesn't match up with someone's belief system, thought process, social status or what have you, people will cancel you out of their life.
But we also have to be careful of unconsciously cancelling ourselves from our groups or situations that appears to cancel us. We mustn't postulate, let's be right and exact when we are identifying ourselves as being cancelled. With that being said, it should be a process of reasoning to evaluate if you have been cancelled or if you have shield yourself from your culture or social circle. Have you thought of reaching out to some of your friends to have a conversation? We have to stop allowing people to cancel us. "Let's Cancel", cancel culture along with their prejudices, and non acceptance of differences and diversities.
Signing Off, WM #4
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