May Peace Be Unto You by Terrico Allen

It's 4:44 a.m. I'm laying here on this prison bunk thinking about Peace. The last couple of years have been rough for us with this Covid mess. It has nearly driven us out of our minds. People are living under a great level of distress. Along with other things that we are experiencing in our lives. I'm sure it's very difficult for a lot of us to find the spaces we need to have Peace. Trust me, I know. I live in close proximity to a lot of men where I'm not able to distance myself 6 feet. Not able to get away to collect myself. So it is important that I mentally separate myself to find Peace. Each day someone is experiencing something in here. There's assaultive behavior, grief, death mental illness, suicide, etc. All of these things disrupts the very core of your Peace. How is it even possible to find Peace.

I used to be so angry about everything. I would be upset if a leaf had fallen from a tree. Yeah I know, insane right? My foolish self thought I had justification for being angry because I was sentenced to life in prison. I felt that gave me every right to be angry. My anger affected my relationship with people. I would even have officers that would play on that anger. I would feed right into the bullshit like the fool I was. So this would cause me to be placed in situations that was detrimental to me and my development. I thought I understood my frustrations. When you're young you think you understand everything. And, you believe in all the ideologies that you carry. But in reality I had it all wrong.

I would hear some of the men say that they had Peace. I used to be burning up inside saying to myself, how in the hell does this Sucka have Peace in prison. I didn't understand how you could have Peace being detained and held captive in prison. My will is being imposed on, so how in the hell can I have Peace. How is it possible even possible?

One day I asked myself why do I easily get upset over things that doesn't matter. I had no true definitive answer. I tried to to lie to myself and say that life in prison is all the reason why. But something within kept telling me that I was destroying myself and hurting others. I realized in that moment that I needed to do better. So I begun exercising how to responded to people. They weren't at the root of my anger. And, I had no right to project my anger on them. I was at the root of my anger. I was the reason I didn't have Peace.

I had to learn to regulate what I allowed in my mind. I even had to be careful of what I put into my mind. It's like feeding the body. If you eat a lot things that is unhealthy for you it will damage and sicken the body. It's the same with the mind. But what you put into your mind also does damage to your body ultimately. So I begun blocking the evil suggestions that would enter my mind and hinder me from having Peace. Evil suggestions are always in our circumference. It can come from negative conversations that you are engaged in or hearing things that doesn't assist in you elevating. It even come from your own thoughts. I stopped allowing myself to believe that I wasn't deserving of Peace because I'm in prison.

As I stated above, I mentally separate myself in here to have the Peace that I need. I don't have the benefit of physically separating myself in here. But I learned to remove myself from things that would impede on my Peace. Even in the midst of chaos I find myself maintaining my Peace. I find the smallest things to be happy about. I look for happiness in my life. And, I find it. Don't get it twisted because I have my days when I'm not feeling too cool and something gets to me. But I don't allow it to languish. I hold firm to my Peace. It is my center.

We have to find our Peace especially in the climate which we live today. Discover yours. Reach within yourself to find it. Sometimes having a couple of minutes for yourself relieves a lot of stress. Invoke your Peace. It's there. Relax and breathe for a moment. Do it after reading this. It'll be okay. Be blessed and may you have Peace.



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